On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
