So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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