i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
