i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
