you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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