put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
