Whod you bang
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
