He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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