You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
