We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
