Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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