I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I sprained my soul last night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
not ubering you a puppy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
