sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
