i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize