Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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