It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
