My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize