I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
