You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You ruined the universe
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
