remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
