Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
