And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
