i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
