I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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