im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
