i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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