wanna go halves on a baby?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
