She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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