I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
