I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
