If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
