You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
