Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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