so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
