That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
