okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
