she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
