Its about making memories worth repressing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
