i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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