turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
