It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize