I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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