the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
