I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
