You don't have asthma, your pregnant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
