so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
