sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
