Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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