drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
