Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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