They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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