I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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