she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
