dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
