the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
