i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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