Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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