That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
