You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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