Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
being pregnant is like rehab
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
