my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My pussy is not your playground.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
