Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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