No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
