did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
