i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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