after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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