Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
