this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
