It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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